Dear Gertrude

My brother was going through a box of old papers (really old, like from the 70s) and came across a few of mine from elementary school. Aside from the “Good!!” written across the top in red pen, I’ve reprinted this one verbatim.

January 18, 1978
Lisa W.
Gertrude’s Gossip
Dear Gertrude,
            My mother won’t let me have
eat candy before lunch. What should
I do?
                                    Sweet Tooth

Dear Sweet Tooth,
            I think your mother is right.
You should not have candy before
lunch. You should only have it for dessert.

                                   Your friend,

I decided to follow up with Gertrude, just to see if she’s changed her mind. Amazingly she’s still around.

November 29, 2010
Dear Gertrude,
            Are you sure my mother is right?
I mean, eating candy after lunch is really just
eating it before the next day's lunch.

                                    Sweet Tooth

Dear Sweet Tooth,
           Good point. Candy before lunch is okay, as long it's 
fair trade, or locally produced, or purchased at the candy
shop down the block from your house.

                                     Your friend,

That settles it.

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